Christianity with Cojones

Have you ever asked yourself, “Self, why do some churches look more like the bra and panty aisle at Wal-Mart rather than a battalion of men poised to plunder the powers of darkness?” 
Certainly, the lack of men in church is not difficult to see.  Just go to church on any given Sunday and count the number of ladies in the pews versus the number of men.  The result?  Well, you’re suddenly slapped in the face with the cheap whiskey-like reality that men are avoiding church like Pelosi avoids reason.
So why do most men avoid church? 

Here’s the veneer stripped-away answer: going to church for the majority of men is lame and sports about the same appeal as being asked to go rollerblading with Adam Lambert.  Yep, church, for most men, has not only become irrelevant—it has also become effeminate.  Hanging out in church for most extra-Y chromosomes seems unmanly and most men more than anything wannabe a cowboy. 
The current lack of strong men within the Church, both in the numeric and leadership sense, has crippled our churches and has helped devastate our nation. 
The masculine spirit being absent from the pulpit, the pew and subsequently the public square has not only slowed down the forward progress of the Church, it has also weakened our nation’s morality and security, increased our country’s secularity, and has assisted [owing to our absence] the lascivious Left’s re-definition of life, sex, marriage and law.  That’s all.
So how do we regain the masculine spirit in our houses of worship?  How do we equip the Church to press on with that which is holy, just and good?  How can we Christians fight the good fight honorably, for freedom, family and the flag?  Here are a few things the Church can do:
•    Put an end to the Nicer-Than-Christ pastors. Don’t hurt ‘em.  Just fire them.  They freak us meat eaters out.  Hire a pastor who throws off a good John Wayne vibe instead of that Clay Aiken crap.  And cheer on “Pastor Wayne” to serve up the solid meat of the scripture—the verities that prod the congregation to biblical maturity rather than prolonged infancy.
•    Ditto regarding the worship/music leader.  And make sure your new testosterone laden songmeister is outfitted with weighty worship music instead of the saccharine-laced slush we have had to sing ad nauseam et infinitum for the last, oh, 100 years. 
•    Enough with the sappy Christian interior decorators, okay?  Churches should not look like a cross between Jan Crouch’s boudoir and Versace’s mansion for God’s sake.  How about decking out the sanctuary with serious transcendent artwork that stops us in our tracks, rather than omnipresent prints of fat baby angels who look like they’re high on Mountain Dew?
•    Lose the Church’s “I’m in therapy for ever” feel.  Yes, yes, “we’re all a work in progress” but the co-dependent, extended womb the Church has wrongfully created has allowed congregants to not get a life because of some difficult doo-doo in their lives.  Sure life’s hard, Spanky, and the sooner we celebrate the struggle the quicker we will draw men back to our houses of worship.

If the Church and our nation want to recover their losses, we’ve got to draw men back to church.  Masculine men are pretty easy.  Toss in reason, competition, initiation, struggle, fun and a problem to spiritually throttle, and we’ll be there like stink on a monkey.  Blow off, suppress, and spiritually emasculate the environment of these holy testicular necessities and your church, as far as men go, will be more empty than Snookie’s noggin.
If concerned Christians want to improve our nation biblically, then the Church has got to eliminate its effeminate drift and re-establish a masculine bent.  Our times demand strong men; the Church must produce them, not repel them.  The Church needs men who are not afraid of the secular thugs who try to keep Christians marginalized in a religious ghetto. 
For more 411 on my take on men and the church log on to and pick up a copy of God’s Warriors and Wild Men the winner of The 2002 Silver Microphone’s Best in Adult Programming Award.
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